Why you should throw away your lists. [VIDEO INSIDE]
Photo Wendy Yalom
She drank green juice; he drank beer.
She was a raw vegan yogi; he was a meat loving chef.
She was 33; he was 24.
Nothing about them made sense, but they fell in love anyway.
Today (August 24) is his birthday, and tomorrow will be our 10 year wedding anniversary.
So I want to share with you the story of two people who make absolutely no sense, but who couldn’t be more perfect for each other.
I first met Will when I moved back to NYC from LA. I had just broken off an engagement with someone who was everything on my "list".
On paper, we were a perfect match, but no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn’t make it work.
After the break-up, I went on a journey to find myself and to understand how I got it so wrong.
That journey inspired me to say "YES" to every dating opportunity that came my way.
So when a taxi driver accidentally dropped me off at the wrong bar, I decided to check it out.
I walked in, sat down next to someone and asked where I was…and the rest, as they say, is history.
Two days later, I was on my first date with this man who made absolutely no sense.
I kept saying yes, because when we were together, I felt safe, I was happy, and we had so much fun together.
And I liked who I was when I was with him.
I distinctly remember going home after one of our first dates and looking at the "list" I made of the qualities I wanted to call in.
Nothing about him was on that list.
Which is when it dawned on me:
Our "lists" are most often created by the version of ourselves that is locked into a projection of who we think we are supposed to be with.
But the truth is, that version doesn't yet know what we need, and they can’t see the expanse of possibility around them.
Those lists are authored by the wounded version of ourselves.
And the reason that we cling to them SO MUCH, is because they give us a concrete way to stay in the story of our wounding.
Under the guise of self-empowerment.
On paper, Will and I did not (and do not) make sense.
But in energy, there is no match more perfect for me.
Everyone around us questioned what we were doing together, but we knew the truth: we felt good to each other.
And because of this, there was space for him to become my greatest healer.
Not because he tried to be, but because when I chose him, there was no template for who I was supposed to be with him, or of who he was supposed to be with me.
We allowed each other to simply be who we were, and because of that, we introduced each other to a version of each other that we didn’t know was possible.
And because of that, a whole new world opened up for us…
So what’s the lesson here?
It’s NOT that people need to be the complete opposite of you in order to have a healthy and thriving relationship, but it does mean that you want to be open to the idea of someone who isn’t what you thought you wanted.
Because ultimately, when the healthy version of us is choosing the people we want to be in relationship with, we choose them because we like who we are when we are with them, and we like how they make us feel.
Will has always made me feel safe. I feel like I’m allowed to be myself, to grow, and to change, and there is something so special about that.
We chose each other for this crazy ride called life because we help each other become the best versions of ourselves in the most beautiful container of love.
And I am so lucky, and so, so grateful.
If I wasn’t open to something different, that single, precious moment in time that changed EVERYTHING, that moment in time would have become just one more missed opportunity.
But this isn’t just a story about being open to call in the right romantic partner, it’s about so much more.
It’s also about calling in your dream job, your inspiring friendships, better relationships with your family, more patience with your children.
Ultimately, it’s about you having a better relationship with yourself.
If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to have beautiful relationships in all areas of my life.
And so I created what is perhaps my most important Master Class yet.
The principles and tools I teach inside are the principles and tools I use myself and have shared with hundreds of clients throughout the years.
Every single relationship you have needs to be built on the same foundation: love, family, parenting, friendship, work, etc.
We all want better relationships in our lives.
We all NEED better relationships in our lives.
Because life itself is built by and on our relationships.
But often we are not taught how to navigate them in a healthy and supportive way.
So I condensed my YEARS of research and practice (and money and sweat and tears) into Relationships: The Master Class to offer you a beautiful way forward.
Not many people show up this way for relationships, though.
It’s not for lack of care or commitment, but rather because this often isn’t modeled or taught to us.
Which is where I come in.
I created Relationships: The Master Class because my own personal toolkit is just too good to not share.
I want to show you how to:
Communicate better.
To be more open.
To see things and yourself differently.
To be in relationship with everything around you in a way that feels open and good.
I want to offer you the tools that helped me to build better relationships with my friends, my family, in my business, and even with the people I don’t agree with.
Your relationships truly can be the most healing and inspiring parts of your life if you show up for them with the tools I offer you in Relationships: The Master Class.
Because here’s the thing:
The secret to having good relationships is YOU.
How you show up for yourself AND how you show up for your people.
And the stories you tell yourself about your dynamics and connection.
Because let’s face it: relationships can be hard.
But they don’t have to be.
And that’s why I created:
Because here’s the thing:
The secret to having good relationships is YOU.
How you show up for yourself AND how you show up for your people.
And the stories you tell yourself about your dynamics and connection.
Because let’s face it: relationships can be hard.
But they don’t have to be.
And that’s why I created:
Relationships: The Master Class
In it, I give you the tools you need to not only connect with the relationships in your life, but do what it takes to make them incredible.
A healthy relationship can be the most powerful container for growth and healing that you will ever have.
But you have to consciously show up for it.
Relationships: The Master Class is a seven module course that teaches you how to create masterful relationships in every facet of your life.
Here's How It Works:
Every week, for six weeks, you will receive a new pre-recorded module in your portal.
Modules are:
A Deep Dive Into Relationships (open NOW)
Heart Centered Courage (opens a week later)
Maintaining Autonomy & Alignment (opens a week later)
Resolving Conflict (opens a week later)
The Most Important Relationship Of All (opens a week later)
Embodying Love (opens a week later)