Breaking Negative Patterns-One easy ritual to rewire your self sabotaging patterns
PHOTO A WILD DOVE
We’ve all been there. It’s the end of a long day, a family member makes an ill-timed comment, and we fly off the handle. For a moment, we feel entitled to our anger and frustration.
But a split second later — we’re flooded with regret, guilt, shame.
Again, we’ve allowed a negative pattern to control our actions instead of allowing love + light to fuel our responses. Again, we’re speaking from a place of fear, scarcity, or ego. Again.
“YOU MUST FIRST IMPROVE YOUR MINDSET, BEFORE YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. ”
Over these past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about patterns, and the power they hold in our lives.
As I’ve transitioned out of the fast-paced, high-stress life of owning a Manhattan cafe, I’ve reassessed and rebuilt many of the rhythms that define my life.
My rushed anxiety filled mornings have been replaced by an intentional mindful start...No matter how much earlier I might have to wake up, my morning starts with meditation, intention setting and journaling. This is non negotiable for me...
I used to work sun-up to sun-down to keep Gingersnap’s running. Now, I might spend my day doing things that feed my soul. Intentionally, that includes helping clients move towards healing and empowerment.
Dread and resentment towards my career have shifted towards pleasure, joy, and gratitude. I’ve become myself again, the same little girl who lined up crystals on her windowsills and lived from a soul-deep place of trust.
New choices. New experiences. New patterns.
Now, I see you, reading this in your claustrophobic cubicle at the end of a long day, or scrolling through this on your phone after another tense conversation with your partner.
You’re tempted to say: Well, that’s nice for her.
Or you’re tempted to ask: Why not me?
But I’m going to ask that question right back at you. Why NOT you?
Sure, it might not be the right time for you to walk away from your stagnant career or stale relationship.
But it’s always the right time to claim a new perspective, open yourself up to new opportunities, and step into a space of empowerment.
And sometimes, the biggest changes start with the smallest baby-steps.
So no matter where you’re at in your journey towards claiming your ideal life, I want to share a simple exercise that will help you build a healthy pattern in one crucial area of your life: communication.
I want you to think back to a recent, frustrating conversation with someone in your life: a friend, your neighbor, the intern, the in-laws, your partner.
Do you remember the moment where you lost control? Do you remember how you responded with arrogance or with anger, with a sharp tone or a passive aggressive comment? And do you remember how you felt afterwards? Heavy? Guilty? Upset? Tight?
Here’s a simple tool to help you break this pattern of broken communication and claim peace in your interactions.
First, begin your morning with a mantra. Just for today, I will pause before I react.
As you speak the mantra, lightly touch a piece of jewelry or a spot on your body. Imagine yourself pausing. Taking a breath. Waiting, for just a moment. Imagine what you will feel like when you choose to rise above immediate reaction and instead choose a positive outcome.
Then, when you’re triggered to respond harshly to another human during your day, lightly touch that same piece of jewelry or area of your body. Allow yourself a moment to feel the energy of your intention. Just for today, I will pause before I react.
This breath of pause will empower you to approach the conversation from a new angle and a new perspective, with empathy instead of anger. And so often, your shifted attitude, from reaction to outcome, will make you more likely to get what you want out of the interaction.
If you’re ready to step even deeper into healing, I’d love to work with you to claim opportunities, clear your energy, and help you step into a new place of empowerment. Maybe you’re interested in a short mindset conversation, or maybe you want to dive into a full reiki session that involves crystals, energy healing, and breathwork.
Either way, if you’re ready to take radical responsibility for your life and your future, let’s talk.