“My daughter is slowly killing herself and I don’t know what to do.”
I found out through a family friend that my father had said that about me.
It was like daggers stabbed straight through my heart. My stomach turned into knots. It felt like my whole world was collapsing.
I was already dealing with severe anxiety and a terrible eating disorder at the time.
But I’d just heard that. And then it really felt like I’d hit my lowest point..
Yet little did I know what was waiting on the other side of this fist-clenching struggle.
What I would later realize was that I had to reach rock bottom before I got better...a whole lot better.
A simple truth we all seem to forget sometimes.
But let me back up a bit.
I’m Jamie. I’m a coach, a mind shifter, an energy mover, a crystal lover, a meditator, an author, a yogi, a speaker, and a teacher.
For my entire life, I’ve been seeking to understand my truest self...my deepest calling...and how to become the best version of myself possible.
If you’re here, I’m guessing that you feel a similar way.
And before what I just mentioned happened, I was a 19 year-old college sophomore who had just changed her major from Business to Philosophy.
Not a decision my father was happy with at the time.
But I wanted to find out more about myself. I wanted to find out who I really was. And most importantly I wanted to find out what was going on inside of me.
As we studied the inner workings of the human mind in class, I started to come face to face with my own inner darkness, fear, and insecurities.
This darkness manifested in my relationship with my body, and soon, I was locked in the tight grip of Anorexia and Exercise Bulimia.
Fear consumed me. I was terrified of food. I spent hours in the gym chasing acceptance and control, and I fell deeper into my spiraling thoughts with every passing day.
I couldn’t leave my dorm room. I couldn’t sleep. And trying to socialize and act like a “normal” outgoing college student was like pulling teeth.
My mind turned every little issue into a major crisis. I was consumed by all the possibilities of every little thing going wrong.
I was trapped in the echo chamber of my own thoughts and I felt uncomfortable in my own body - it felt painful to even exist.
I’d always struggled with anxiety during my childhood...but it was never this bad.
Maybe being off by myself triggered these symptoms. Maybe I’d just been a ticking time-bomb and college had set off the fuse. But now it was worse than ever.
I suffered all throughout college - pretending to have it all together while feeling like I was tearing apart at the seams.
But my demons followed me even after college, and I couldn’t escape the toxic story I was trapped in - a story of how I wasn’t worth it. Of how I just wasn’t enough.
The people around me in New York were constant triggers for my anxiety, insecurities, and identity issues. I felt like a total stranger no matter where I went.
And then I heard what my Dad had said.
And I had it. I knew I couldn’t go on like this. Not just for my sake, but for my family. For the people I was indirectly hurting with my suffering.
I realized that an academic understanding of the human mind wasn’t all that mattered. It was time for me to forge my own path to healing and wholeness.
I started seeing a Cognitive Behavior Therapist, a Trainer, and a Nutritionist in New York.
The healing began and I started to slowly undo the damage and rewire my fear-based, anxiety-ridden brain.
But I still felt like it wasn’t enough. I felt like my entire environment was suffocating me. I realized I couldn’t keep living in New York.
So in 2000, I left New York, and moved to Santa Monica—the place that made my soul feel at home.
For the next 8 years, I made my home on the West Coast, exploring kundalini yoga, reiki, crystals, and all things mystical. For the first time in my adult life, I was able to reconnect with my childhood spirit of trust and curiosity.
In searching for a place to understand myself, I completed my first Yoga Teacher Training with Saul David Raye in 2004, and then went on to finish another 200 and 300 hour course with Annie Carpenter at Yoga Works in 2005 and 2006.
It was in that work that I was able to dive deeper into my body and connect with my breath and my energy.
I also discovered the world of plant-based food, and began working in raw food restaurants. I eventually adopted the lifestyle as a way to bring peace and healing to my relationship with food.
I started eating healthier and loving myself more. I didn’t feel the need to spend hours at the gym and I no longer felt the relentless urge to expel what I ate from my body. I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I began to understand the power of choice, acceptance, and perspective. And through those years of work, I learned to settle into my body and connect with my breath, my spirit, my choices and my energy.
Fast forward to 2009 where I moved back to New York.
I felt confident that I was ready to face my demons and create a new life in my hometown.
I had fully come out the other side of that dark tunnel after a painstaking 9-year struggle.
...or so I thought.
Soon after, I met my husband - a meat and gluten-loving and chef who instantly connected with me. My life changed at in what seemed like lightning speed.
I found myself owning and running an incredible plant-based and cleansing cafe in Manhattan called Gingersnap’s Organics...
...that I never wanted to run in the first place.
I originally started coaching there because I kept having clients come to me and ask to see me privately.
I’ve always found the one-on-one format to be the most effective so I was more than happy to say “Yes” and help people individually. I also enjoyed that it was a place for people to gather around healthy food.
But one thing led to another and I ended up being in charge of the entire shop.
My days were filled with managing staff, sourcing ingredients, working in the kitchen, and keeping up with the hectic pace of running the cafe. It was the busiest I’d ever been. And it was slowly making me crazy.
On the high side of things, I met some of my best friends and clients at Gingersnap’s. I got to work with customers one-on-one, creating customized nutrition plans, teaching them how to love and trust themselves and how to get quiet - and those moments lit me up.
They made me realize my growing passion for coaching and helping others.
I even watched the entire city celebrate my vision of holistic nutrition that I believed in so deeply, and it was an honor to see my work featured in [ New York Times, Well and Good, The Numinous, Fashion Week Daily, Living the Process, Refinery 29, New York Magazine, The Balanced Blonde ].
...but I wasn’t happy. And that’s all that mattered.
Six years into running Gingersnap’s and what I always feared would happen finally did.
My fears returned. The nightmare of my college years started to swallow me whole. I was drowning in constant anxiety.
I was starting to slip back into the darkness.
And that’s when a single conversation changed my life.
I booked a session with my former coach (and now dear friend) who brought up all the names of the people who were successfully running juice/smoothie bars and healthy restaurants..
But the problem was none of them excited me. I didn’t envy any of them or want what they had. None of it really spoke to me. The passion just wasn’t there.
And through that discussion I realized that I wasn’t doing what I truly wanted to be doing - using energy-based coaching and therapy techniques to help people find peace, love and strength within themselves in order to banish their destructive inner stories.
And then she asked:
"What if Gingersnap's wasn’t it?"
That question lingered with me for the next few days. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
So I did what I knew worked best for major life decisions: I meditated deeply on the issue.
I analyzed it from every angle and thought deeply about what it meant for me. What it meant for my future. And what it was that I really needed to do.
And after a few days, the answer struck me like a flash. There was only one possible path forward. It was clear as day.
What might have seemed like the most painful thing in the world now felt like a very calm and natural thing to do.
So I went to my husband and thoughtfully told him:
"I just don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t go on running the cafe like this. It’s not for me."
And he responded with the following two words:
I let out a huge sigh of relief. He understood.
Within a week of that conversation I gave notice to my landlord and moved out.
It was time to embrace my truer purpose—to work with individuals...to help them see their entire lives differently...to peacefully and lovingly guide them to a better and brighter future...and to create dramatic transformations within them.
I began a new path with crystal-clear purpose. And I haven't looked back since.
Today, I spend my days working with clients. Some days I’m practicing breathwork, reiki and crystal healing with local clients in my Manhattan office or leading moon workshops, women’s circles or other mindful local gatherings.
Other days I’m coaching my online clients through their own career and relationship transformations.
And I’m always looking for new ways to grow: through trainings, education, living and learning.
What started with food has become a more holistic practice—to help my clients find mental and physical wellbeing. I combine the truths from my own journey with the depth of my decades of education, which made me a:
Certified Reiki Healer
Certified Kundalini Teacher
Breathwork trainer with David Elliot
Certified Yoga Alliance Yoga instructor (700 hours)
Integrative Life Coach through the Center for Integrative Hypnosis
Certified in Ericksonian Hypnosis
Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) graduate
Gabrielle Bernstein Spirit Junkie Coach Level 1 and 2 (teaching Kundalini at Level 2)
I’m inspired by my own personal journey with food, health and wellness, and now I’m on a mission to share with others how to be healthy, happy and free. I live in Manhattan (happily, now) with my carnivorous and equally talented chef husband, Will Hickox (yes, we’re still together and enjoying our relationship to the fullest).
And despite everything I went through, I wouldn’t trade a single moment.
Because I thank each part of my journey—from my eating disorder to my difficult times at Gingersnap’s Organic—for being a teacher, a lesson, and a test.
Even through all the darkness and the turmoil, my life has been an amazing collection of gifts and opportunities.
Every event was just a tiny step forward on the path to true peace and fulfillment and to where I am now.
And while Gingersnap’s brought stress and anxiety into my life for so many years, it also cracked me open to see my truest purpose. And I can’t help but be grateful for that being the greatest lesson of all.
Now, I’m living my real dream: bringing healing and change to my clients through coaching, holistic wellness, and immersive energy work.
The best part? I’m helping my clients live their dreams too.
And I’d love to do the same for you.
Ready to take the next step in your own transformation journey?
If you’ve stuck with me this far and feel like you might be going through a period of darkness in your life, then please reach out to me and let’s chat.
I’d love nothing more than to help you be heard, held and healed - so that you can start living the best days of your life (Yes, they ARE still yet to come).
If you want to get in touch, please visit my One-on-One page to see what I have to offer to you.
Dive into these juicy podcast interviews if you want to get to know me better: The Balanced Blonde with Jordan Younger, The Love Bomb with Nico Tortorella, Let it Out with Katie Dalebout and on Hello Freedom podcast with Terri Cole.
Send me a message here, and I’ll get back to you with answers, advice, and lots of love.